my home is in empty spaces.

(This post-exam entry will be long and pointless. Don't read it if you don't have the time to.)

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Odd.

I feel as if I should have done four times the amount of stuff I did today.

The aftereffects of a highly exciting semester.

Let's see. I spent $125.50 today when out with K, who is one of the few ppl who can tolerate me when I'm somewhat drowsy and out of sorts and stuttering because I haven't had to do the social thing since the beginning of October. List: bought a red T-shirt, a dark green T-shirt, a white T-shirt that proudly proclaims my inner slut, a slinky little reddish spag top that looks surprisingly wonderful on me cos I'm extremely comfortable with it, two scented candles and two greeting cards. And lunch, which will be described a little later in this entry.

That would be $59.70 plus $33 plus $19.80 plus $13.

I'm also eyeing this halter-neck thingy at the shopping mall near my home, will go check it out tomorrow.

but I'm bored now that the Damocles' sword of LBC is no longer around to torture me. Nor SJX. Nor PL. Nor CKL + MC. Nor all the nicely competitively friendly chirps of my fellow LS students. Gargh, how did my life disappear into school?

It was actually the two weeks of hell in October that did the trick, I think. Now I'm sheesh whining because I have no work or task assigned to me to do.

The greatest absurdity of my exam period was that I think I might actually get an A for my Soci module when I barely studied for mid-term test and didn't study for the final exam. Thanks to my, uh, "sophisticated great answers" worth 33 out of 40 marks (18/20 + 15/20) for the mid-term, and the fact that I was in a hurry to get out of the exam hall for the next immediate evening Bio paper and thus made very concise and organized points in the final.

I shall be good and re-engage my mind by reading LBC's stack of journal papers that I have been swearing at and not touched for the whole semester. And SJX's stuff too. Muahahaha. Jax, you don't have to tell me I'm a nerd. I already know that, to my sorrow when I couldn't sleep just now cos I hadn't done any work today.

Save me from my misery =p

By the way, ma3 la4 noodles ($4) from the Bugis food court are not worthy of the name. I had to put in a full saucer of chicken-rice-type chilli sauce (the kind with chilli seeds) before the thing stopped tasting like rice water and starting becoming fun to eat.

*nods*

6 exams in 4 days. Whee!

The key to my freedom has unexpectedly landed in my lap.

And I have searched for it long.

So I watched Zhang Yimou's Hero for the first time, tonight. My aunt's VCD.

And I understood it perfectly.

What's not to understand?

Thank goodness I have a life left to live, unlike Tony Leung's character. =) Is it fate that once in our lives we would meet the one who is most suited for us, yet worst for us in that he/she leads to our deaths?

Thus the battle. Thus the war. And thus the peace.

Consider, for yourselves. Watch it.

Jax, our chick has grown pecs! Where does he find the time to work out during exam period?

And why does he smell so overwhelmingly like a flower garden?!

I begin to catch on to something very sneaky and devious about our oh-so-innocent chick.

Sometimes I do freaking stupid things, like rushing work at the last minute.

Simply for the thrill of having accumulated everything beforehand and just rooting myself to one spot for a bunch of hours to write it all out in one coherent draft. Which would then sit for a day and get re-edited to even greater coherence, and then get submitted before I get =) perfectionistic urges to spend a couple more hours chasing down extremely minor facts.

Yesterday: Surprisingly, I was not the only absurd one in school on a Sunday that happened to be a public holiday too. There was great difficulty finding an available LAN point and power socket in a suitably temperature-controlled place.

Post-project thrills are better than sex. And sleeping tops them all.

Reading The Da Vinci Code was fascinating; the book is a closed circle unto itself that nicely links things together. The lost sacred feminine.

In seven hours.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, myz, and thanks for trying to find the reference for me yesterday. =) Hope you enjoyed your holiday, =) I certainly spent the entire day today sleeping and reading.

Something biological to remember that I think I encountered only once before, in my A level textbook, and didn't place into active memory. It's fate that I get slapped in the face with it again so that it makes its presence felt. The hallmark of a good reference.

There are only four types of tissues: epithelial tissue, connective tissue, muscle tissue, and nerve tissue.

From a friend, "Less than 20 days and it will all! be! over!"

Sounds kinda suicidal.

By some miracle, I have successfully wandered into a place that's protected from rain and not too hot, and has a nearby LAN point and power socket for me, and enough company for me to wander out of the room for a few minutes without having my laptop and notes stolen. And I wasn't even purposefully looking for it.

Still flipping tired. Tired. And sleep doesn't drain the stress out. Lately, my textbooks have begun to annoy me after steady fare of primary literature papers these past few sems. I used to think I was stupid for feeling that annoyance in sec sch and JC, not knowing that indeed I was on to something.

One shall not start learning martial arts when one still has rage. It would severely retard proper learning. From Wed's experience. Perhaps I should ask meow-meow (TM) for his views on this as an excuse to strike up a conversation.

On the other hand, later. When I get my brain back.

A cryptic note to self:

I work well with my hands. Guess that 11 years of training doesn't disappear after all when the necessity's there.

A little tired today. Not thinking.

The blood-dimm'd tide is loosed/shaping a clear peace.

torrential rains outside. They suit my present mood perfectly.

A few annoyances this week. To these ppl: You will not break me. You will not force me to break myself. Desist, or I'll shove crow down your throat right now just to show that I can do what you said was "inappropriate" for me. This must be another of those "for my own good" things that I so love. Die! *snatches idiot's eyeball out*

I am going into enforced mental retardation. otherwise known as exam prep. Yesterday's group prez was probably the last time this sem that I could exercise my individuality during class. The last time I could enjoy the adrenaline flowing; the last time I could really kick ass doing what I do best. And we kicked major ass; celebratory lunch =p

Meaningless list coming up, a la Shiyao.

The problem with exams:

1. Nobody, except beleaguered students, is under pressure to hold a pen in the hand and write continuously at high speed for more than 2 hours anymore. People type on computers these days. Like wow. This of course has implications for editing and neatness and other chim chim mental stuff.

2. People ask me questions. Yeah people ask me questions during exams. Why can't I invent my own questions? *pout* , see if those get answered, or try answering them myself (some self- feedback loop going on here).

Side point: Hooray for my Honours thesis! That makes some sense, at least.

3. risk of thrombosis everywhere except in the brain and in the writing hand.

4. Can't talk to friends. Ppl have questions, usually they think a bit and then discuss them with other ppl to refine their ideas/answers, right? Sometimes we even rephrase the question to include more interesting issues when the qn's done badly, yeah? This is normal learning. How mindlessly authoritarian of the exam board to suggest that when you don't know some minor fact, you can't ask anybody, and ta-dahh! you'll get assigned back into the crab bucket, courtesy of a numerical mark. Damn!

Of course, I am whining because I can't do the exam thing well. Never could, except way back when.

*rich defiant laughter*

Christmas is coming. You know how I know? It's getting colder here.

How odd is this? The student of the gd friend of my gd friend is also a friend of my other friend's friend. Years and years apart. Creepy.

Too many apparent friends in the universe. =)