my home is in empty spaces.

I am ....... at present.

Qn: How is your Honours project going?
My answer: Badly. Shhh....

I attended a 2-day seminar on sexual assault at KKH during the mid-sem break......

What I got from it can be most valuably summarized in this way.... Tragedy occurs not because human beings are capable of imagining evil, but because human beings are often so incapable of imagining evil that when it occurs, as it frequently does, it is ignored, overlooked, misrepresented, and twisted into unmeaningful unhelpful useless chaos. That is the real tragedy in my view.

To counter this, is to lose faith in the idealistic world concept. The gains are, I think however, not without some positive worth.

Do consider it carefully before imposing that particular 'just world' expectation on others, especially those who have suffered the evil you now selfishly declare is impossible simply to protect your own sense of self.

Congratulations to Twacie darling!!!!! =p

quiet note to self: I don't think this is really healthy. It's annoying. I must desensitize somehow otherwise it won't be good.

Tonight was the night of my earring adventure, where I took them out to clean for the first time after piercing. One could get queasy from the details.

When I get sick, I get really sick, and frighten my parents. But now all is well! Yay!

My mom woke me up last night to shove two paracetamol down my throat. I do not know if I will be well enough by tomorrow to work as per normal. Time to do the convalescence thing for the whole of today.

Signing off.... After a full meal of information throughout the day, I find as a postprandial tidbit that a published scientific author called Earl Gray does exist! Go figure. =)

Behold, Acrobat Distiller to the rescue.

Hello.

I am strangely tired although I've done very little in the way of real work this week. I guess reading assigned papers, being actively involved in lectures and discussions, and running about here and there and all doesn't count when I think it doesn't count, although my body counts every little bit of stress and exertion nowadays. How odd. We are getting old and feeble.

Guess the fatigue is probably because I have too much print quota with cranky computers that refuse to print my MS Office documents for me, so that every month I can only print 300 pages' worth of PDF files. Hahahahahahahaha. Oh well, that's really better than no print quota at all, so I shan't complain too much, except, I wish I'd known that quirk earlier...

And things proceed at a fast trot, faster than is worth writing the details of.

No, N is not glutamine. *quiet LS joke of the day in SB class, and of last night too*

Above all things, remember:

I choose a mortal life.

That includes everything sad that comes along. Sad only for today, for today.... it must fade, as all things healthy should.

You know, Jax understands me better than I know myself. Smart guy.

The past 7 days have been really eventful. However, I don't think it'll stop being eventful as yet, so will tell you all privately about it a little later when things are a little more settled. if you don't already know what I've been up to......


It's all good news, though. No worries. =)

Now really wish to sleep, but it's only an hour till lecture.

I'm glad that you finally told me, but the sticking point is, why did you tell me only now when I've known you for so long? *huge sigh*

3 (or 4) things:

1. Happy CNY!
   
2. Yang was so happy today, it being cny eve, that he didn't rush off like he usually does after lecture. That means we got to pick his brain thoroughly. As a result, I am slowly getting to know more about NMR in the most straightforward and fun way available to me. =) yang being so impressed by our enthusiasm that he's talking much more about much stuff now. Decoupling techniques, for example.
   
3. Yang was so happy today, it being cny eve, that he started telling jokes about bread and drunk molecules. =) Don't ask. =) I won't be making a note of it except that it was so bad, it was good. =) And it was also the first time that yang ever 100% successfully told a joke, so that's *small splutter* highly memorable.
   
4. There's no drug dis lecture on friday either, for those of you taking it. Jax don't try to bluff me yet again, it's hard to survive to year 4 without knowing how to check these basic things for myself. =p But thanks for listening to me whine yesterday over msn.
   

I haven't done any of these survey things for some time, so, for your amusement.....

What is the geekiest part of your music collection?
*haughty look* I do not have any geeky things in my music collection

What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
I don't remember having one.

If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
ahem, don't tell you.

Do you have a completely irrational fear?
Sure. Its name is Brandon, or human derivatives thereof.

What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
I freeze my facial expression into alertness and start asking very short very terse questions to clarify things so that I can relax. Alternatively, I start twiddling plastic drink cups on the table during conversation.

Do you know anyone famous?
Who? Everybody's famous, don't be like that lah.

Who would play you in a movie?
Chloe Sevigny, probably. not that I care.

What do you carry with you at all times?
A certain measure of sensitivity to the world around me.

What do you miss most about being a kid?
Been there, done that. There's nothing to miss. each day in the present is beautiful.

What colour is your bedroom?
Pale purple. Some poetic people and paintmakers might call it lilac.

What was the last song you were listening to?
One Last Kiss as sung by Taufik.

Have you ever been in a play?
Unfortunately, yes.

Have you ever been in love?
Yes.

Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Yes. *cool calm look* Why are you asking leh?

Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
Since I ain't gone to places with many of these people before, I won't know.

What is your ideal marriage location?
Ah =) how about draped in diamonds satin and lace, on the lawn of my fiance's bungalow that he bought for me as our matrimonial home. Dream on.

Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
Flute.

Favorite fabric?
Velvet. No question about it.

What's the one language you want to learn?
Hokkien. Most useful around here.

How do you eat an apple?
Somewhat indifferently.

What do you order at a bar?
Anything that has unfamiliar composition but familiar liquor that's not too strong.

Have you ever pierced your body parts?
Ears.

Do you have tattoos?
No.

Do you drive a stick?
No. Auto.

Favorite trait of the opposite sex?
no one trait stands out memorably, thus far.

What kind of watch do you wear?
Swatch. Black dragon, red background, the two hands are flames. I've had this one for a long time.

Most frivolous purchase?
Expensive sexy heels.

What are you best at cooking?
Whatever's on hand.

Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
Uhm, not with regards to hair and pointless swagger and black leather shoes. The rest is fine cos most clothes patterns are unisex nowadays.

What's one car you will never buy?
A magenta sports car. Sure kena scratched one for the fun of seeing pale artistic streaks amidst the gleaming sea of purple gloss.

What kind of books do you like to read?
Novels or non-fiction written by scientists when they were still practising, whether those scientists are now dead or still alive. I am nerd, thank you I knew that already.

If you won the lottery, what would you do?
Invest, invest, invest. Then live as if I'd never won it, cos money like that tends to disappear when relied on to be an unending source of living expenses. Aha.

Do you cry in front of your friends?
Yeah, why not. Weird question.

What's one thing you like to do alone?
Read.

Are you a giver or a taker?
Huh? I can't answer this question in a succinct way that would make any sense to anybody intelligent who's reading this. You could do a whole essay on it, I guess, me being old and having done many things after all.

When's the last time you cried?
The implications of this qn are not straightforward in my case. I cry in a very peculiar way; tears run down my face like blood from a flesh wound, and are similarly ignored without harm, until my nasal chambers get choked up as well in which case I have to clear those to resume even breathing. And none of this really answers your question, does it?

How many drinks before you're tipsy sleepy?
That really depends on what I'm drinking. Four cans of sugared green tea keep me awake the whole night in a hyperactive state. Muahahaha. Have a great Day.

;) I do this quiz three times and get 30, 31, and 32 respectively. Hooray for 32! Ain't that scary huh.

You Are 32 Years Old

32 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

I am exhausted. I no want work anymore. Bleah.

Poster was on Thursday this week. Kinda fun. The past two weeks have been kinda fun in the same manner.

Add that to some kaypoh comments from friends, a quiet agreement with Jax, one just one ill-judged fried chicken meal that left me hoarse while weeks of steady coffee intake didn't, an examiner from Pluto, and some frantic reading, and that's my two weeks, approximately.

Ear infection has cleared up, finally. It went away sometime last week, many days before poster. Thank you all for caring =)

I can barely remember what else happened within this time. Short-term memory loss has really gone to quite a bad extent. That's sem for you.

Oh. Oh yes, I remember something. I remember that the lectures have been the easiest bit so far because all those lecturers have taught me before, so I know how their presentations are paced so that I can selectively fall asleep. I remember sleeping a lot with some guy with a laser pointer (they're all guys so far, eh) talking at me and the rest of the similarly spaced-out zoned-out lab-drained LT audience. That's something.

And my stupid eldest sister after waking up late and still in pyjamas asked me this morning as I was leaving the house, "If you don't have class, why are you going to school?" This was after I posed a question to my dad about the meaning of Chinese New Year that turned into a pointless monologue/lecture/argument.

It's called OT. Work. And I have to go back to slogging. I shall read papers in peace so that my project will drag itself out of the mud. bye.

P.S.: After checking my sms that just came, I am reminded that happiness is a delusion. Evil is a delusion. School is the ultimate delusion. And semesters are the most transient of all. Life is transient. Everything is pointless to some massive extent; yay!

The clock is ticking. Time is of the essence.