my home is in empty spaces.

(This is a backdated entry.) RT today.

Since my brain is refusing to kickstart into gear on this lovely blazingly sunny day, I shall blog.

Perhaps the bits that hinder dee cogwheel connections would come loose through this exercise.

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Oh, I got this via msn yesterday, from a friend. Bi-curious women are here -- but not quite queer. Welcome to the new lesbian chic.

Whaddya think? It's really, really cooooool. Now if only ...

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All right, so I'm sectioning my post like Gabriel used to do. ;-) . But that's because I have nothing to say and am just oiling the ol' cephalus here. Conniptions, contraptions. discombobulations (sic intentional).

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I was telling people that I'm happy. Piano stuff. Aural stuff. Sensual stuff. Books. Chat. Books.

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The wildtype still hasn't reverted, and I am getting impatient. Very, very impatient. bah!!

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Time to stop terrorizing you my dear reader. Thankew for your patience with this post.

PH happy to see me. He's thinking of going to Stanford. He has a few good papers.

LQ, zapping, RY. JY not free. J not free. W coffee. Black skirt belt strand gift necklace.

Today I went back to return my convocation gown, and met up with CP and SC on the way. SC is flying off to his Dream Place tomorrow =) when we sat down to talk, it was almost as if the last 2 years had never been. SC is a dear.

CP too. She reminded me to keep my spirits up (UP! she ordered =p ) and suggested some more companies to try and promised to look out for opportunities for me. So did D and E.

Did you know that LP is going to Oxford?

(Edit: Caught LP on msn on 26/9, she says it's not true and is very very perturbed how this rumour came to be. Okay.)

GK, GK, you complain too much lah, haiyoh. =p

*crinkly smiles* since GK has complained that the previous post didn't keep to the spirit of the meme, I shall do another one, a better one. Too free.

I spend far too much time in someone's house, keeping both myself and him entertained before he sleeps. I whine a lot, apparently. I like to discuss things on the same level instead of going deeper and deeper into related issues only to finally reach a "ah, what is truth" mode. I used to kill yeast on a regular basis before turning to play with computers.

I am a sister, daughter, friend, and lover. I didn't steal anything when young, and still haven't stolen anything that I know of. I stare at treescapes. I used to stare at trees and marvel at their elegant beauty.

I watch Japan Hour to keep my younger sister company, and for its mindless entertainment.

Once I drove along the expressway and saw this cat sleeping peacefully in my lane, relaxed in eternal sleep as I whoosh past at 80 km/h. I'm the one who kicked your chair when you slumped over your GP paper for too long. I'm the one who used to sing beside you. I still love strawberries.

So I'm that girl. And who might you be? =)

Taken from Tomorrow, but not going to trackback this. Shy lah. (credits go to MercerMachine)

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I'm that girl who takes more than the usual moment to recognise the planes and curves of her own face.

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I'm the girl who sat across the table from you in kindergarten, and watched you being caned by our form teacher for talking in class. She inflicted justice - that was indeed justice; you had been previously warned. But your hopeless and terrified tears! when she didn't stop. told me about mercy.

I'm the girl who, when I told you that that was my first memory, you said "Eeeeks! How horrible." and walked away before I could tell you about justice and mercy.

I'm telling all of you now. Would you walk as well, or would you learn what you can from this? :)

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I'm the girl who consistently beat you in class placings throughout our 6 years of primary school. And also aced all spelling tests. But look at you now, where you work, who you are...

I'm the girl who, from the moment you taught me minim, semibreve, and breve counts with the note middle C when I was six, fell in love with the piano, and never fell out of love with it. :)

I'm the girl who could play 7 hours a day in total for her Grade 8 piano exam. The one who, when you and you and you said, "Oh I suffered through piano classes, aren't they horrible? Augh!", looked calmly at you and said No questioningly. The one you then laughed at for not having the same tastes as you. I never talked to you and you and you again for the time we had to be together, and was happy for it. Actually, I'm still not talking to you and you and you now, but then, we always had different interests. I'm glad that you're well. I'm glad that I'm well too, and that we didn't have to trouble each other with our very different neuroses, your shopping and eating and flirting neuroses of course being more mainstream than mine.

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I'm the girl you brought to B.G. for a little privacy, only for you to tell me that your aunt lived across from where we'd decided to linger. I'm the one you raped, you bastard.

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I'm the one who's survived. The girl who brought up her younger sister and her elder one too. The first one amongst my siblings to pass the driving test, and to hear my father cackling screaming and moaning in the backseat whenever I drove our family home, for the first six months before my sister passed too. The one who knew that aggravating him in return meant trouble for his weakened blood vessels, and got into the habit of not doing so, only to find that he abused that care and concern and privilege in situations where he had no right to interfere. The one whose father continues that emotional blackmail with his weak heart, in more ways than one.

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The one who hears more than everyone else, sang more than everyone else, played more. I still hear much more - most songs, music, and voices are sounded at a disturbing level for me. I cripple myself not to hear.

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I am the girl who loves. I am the girl whom you spent long hours with when we were in sec sch, whom you met with even in frenetic JC, whom you asked to see every time you were back. I am the girl to whom you said, "We have an unexplainable link of the spirit". Although we have both changed completely from sec sch days. I am the girl who congratulates you on your marriage, and who loves you still.

I am the girl whose hair you stroked and tidied in class one early morning, thereby misleading all our classmates into thinking we were attached *much amused*. I am the girl whose room you slept in, more than once. I am the girl who slept on the floor of your room, simply because your presence comforted me. I am the one whom you helped drag out of that dark night. I am the one whose life you saved once.

I am the one who has graduated, who has learned, who has lived, and died, and returned. Loved and cherished, love and cherish still.

I am the girl who taught you how to write and how to spell when our parents were negligent.

I am the girl whose strength frightens or appalls the people whom she meets. I am also the girl whose heart is radiant in its strength. I am.

Google Blog Search. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Considering a vaginal delivery after a Caesarean section - the summary page.

No, it's not impossible. It's not even particularly difficult =)

.... I think I just saw some young sapling shrivel up and die under the onslaught.

(cryptic post)

If I were a month, I would be: January
If I were a time of day, I would be: 10.38 am
If I were a planet, I would be: Mercury
If I were a sea animal, I would be: a nudibranch
If I were a direction, I would be: Southwest
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: an elaborate candle-holder
If I were a historical figure, I would be: Rosalind Franklin
If I were a liquid, I would be: Chocolate
If I were a stone, I would be: a conglomerate
If I were a tree, I would be: the rain tree
If I were a bird, I would be: sparrow?
If I were a flower, I would be: Phalaenopsis spp.
If I were a weather, I would be: monsoon rain
If I were an instrument, I would be: the piano
If I were an animal, I would be: a bee
If I were a color, I would be: fire red
If I were an emotion, I would be: love
If I were a vegetable, I would be: lettuce?
If I were a sound, I would be: the theme tune from "A Beautiful Mind"
If I were an element, I would be: water
If I were a car, I would be: the Lotus Elise
If I were a song, I would be: "Don't Stay" - Linkin Park
If I were a food, I would be: laksa! laksa!
If I were a material, I would be: silk
If I were a taste, I would be: that stinging numbness of tom yam soup
If I were a scent, I would be: honey-coated almonds, freshly roasted
If I were a cartoon character, I would be: i don't watch cartoons anymore
If I were a shape, I would be: an S-curve
If I were a number, I would be: 28

=)

Today I have heard from various ppl that I am eccentric, quiet, moody, talkative, normal, cheerful, correct (in the sense of "not screwed up", later modified to "screwed up in the right way"), not self-absorbed, not whiny, not annoying.

All true.

Tankew tankew.

A blog post is way overdue. Unfortunately this blog, unlike its owner, has lost all sense of temporal coherence in its subject matter.

And thus I can't write anything that links to anything I've been doing consistently for the past month.

Except.

Let's just say that some moments, or nights, or evenings, mornings and days, lose their glowing fragile beauty when written down for all to see. But to all the people I've spent time with this past two weeks, I love you.